I'd rather starve.

Grocery shopping. The two most dreaded words in my vocabulary right now. It gives me anxiety just thinking about it and quite frankly, a life of cereal and Ramon Noodles is sounding like the better option...
Usually, a list is made before I go to the store and even with Knox's curdling screams, two stiff arms trying to knock everything down, a gross determination to lick the shopping cart handle (because he knows how much it it makes me want to barf) and me telling him 84647984 times to sit on your bum, we somehow manage to leave the store with only a minor headache and a 'smarties' candy from the cashier- overall manageable. Those were the days...
Now shopping trips have become a chore I procrastinate until I have not a drip of milk left and we've been out of eggs/bread for days. Knox isn't to the age yet that I would trust him to stay by my side let alone keep his hands to himself. So, he sits stands in the front of the cart while Madden's seat is in the actual cart. As you all know, those things are NOT small. I start off with a list and I'm booking it and by the second isle Knox has taken my list and tried to eat it. It's sogginess is more than I want to deal with so I figure I'll just remember- Yeah right. He soon starts whining because he wants to shred the soggy paper into tiny pieces and throw them on the floor. In efforts to get out of his seat he begs me to hold him so I do, at least until my arm goes numb and my hand hurts from trying to turn the beastly cart- Back in.  I leave the cart for two seconds only to turn back to see him standing and leaning on the isle while the cart rolls out from underneath him. A fellow shopper has to step in. Poor Madden has food piled all around him and Knox has decided to throw things into Madden's lap which doesn't go over so well. I'm having to put things on the bottom rack of the cart but suddenly it overflows and I run over a pile of grapes that were on the stack and now squished on the cart wheels. Knox is mad he can't hold the raw hamburger so I hand him the container of yogurt only for him to launch it in the air, lands and splatters all over the floor and freezer doors. We check out and the cashier must have seen I was past it because she gave not one, but five pieces of candy to Knox. After a little Christmas morning like celebration, he grabbed the candy along with a pack of gum that we did NOT purchase. We leave the store and manage to get the boys/groceries in the house and put away when I find  the gum, however I did NOT find about five items from my list which was pretty much the whole purpose for the stupid grocery trip. Griiiiiiiiipes! So much for remembering it all. I plop down on the couch and watch Knox throw toys from the top of the stairs, I'm done parenting today, have at it. I pop in a gross piece of stolen gum and couldn't help but chuckle at the past few hours of hell. I now understand grocery date night. 

P.S Grocery store- IOU.